so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
