i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
