He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
