Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
