He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
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Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
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I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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