Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
