Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
