so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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