shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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