I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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