Pants 0. Shit 1.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
