Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
