Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
