I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize