he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
