paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
