Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
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Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
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So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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