there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize