and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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