Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
