i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
