I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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