I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
