I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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