I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
