And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I got inside last night via doggy door
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How does one acquire holy water?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
