if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize