how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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