I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
