We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
