Me. At least after what I've been through.
handjob tips. give me some.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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