It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize