I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
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i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
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I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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