YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
