Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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