New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
