Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Randomize
