I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
