yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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