Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm jealous of your bromance
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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