yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
