You don't have asthma, your pregnant
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
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