this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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