She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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