The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
