Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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