Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i think i have two assholes
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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