please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I will die if light touches me.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize