Only a mothe r could love this liver
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
