hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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