so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it's not cheating when I paid for it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
