hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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