Are we in a gay sports bar?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
