You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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