I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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